Practice 2: When you find yourself wondering why is this happening to me? remind yourself that 95% of your circumstances in life started with your choices! Don’t like your relationship? Wasn’t it you who wanted to be with this person? Don’t like your teen’s attitude? Wasn’t it you who chose to have kids? (No, I did not, I accidentally got pregnant!, Wait, did you choose to have sex)? As Dr. Phil says, when you choose the behavior you choose all the possible consequences!
We can trace back almost every current circumstance in our life to a choice we made. (Well, I didn’t choose to get cancer!) Of course, you did not! This goes into the other 5%, now your choice is how you will treat your cancer, how you will support yourself, your attitude, how you will navigate this difficult situation. When we are truly victimized (not my nail broke, or Starbucks screwed up my order, or there is too much traffic, victim mentality), when hurtful things completely out of our control, happen to us such as being a victim of a crime, losing someone we love, a car accident, a scary diagnosis, we still have the free will to choose how we will respond, and heal and continue on.
Taking accountability for how our choices got us to the here and now, reminds us we are in the driver’s seat of our lives, which now results in new choices as we can continue to steer our own path in the direction we want. Practice owning your choices and the results with an accountability, not victim mentality. Learn to say, “I did this to me.” Now what?
Essential Practice #3 on its way.
