May 28, 2019
The body-mind connection is where every answer you are looking for is located: in your body, your gut or your core, whatever you wish to call it, When you are looking for answers from the smallest questions to the biggest questions, your answers are inside. BUT, you must practice being tuned in. These answers come as nudges, hints, ideas, and they wrestle with your “I should do this or that” constant internal conversations. Listening to you, your wants, desires, and intuitions is where you find your truth, your authenticity, your answers and your integrity and peace of mind. Start today with tuning in and paying attention and separating the endless programmed shoulds with What is true for me? What do I want? With practice, your ability to access your truth will be strengthened, resulting in more clarity, enthusiasm, and personal autonomy and authenticity.
![I Don’t Love My Dog]()
May 25, 2019
My clients often share with me that they don’t know how to access their feelings or that their partner has a tough time sharing their feelings. Feelings are usually in the range of sad, mad, or glad and are different than our thoughts. ” I thought the movie was sad” is not a feeling it is a thought. “I was so sad when I watched the movie, tears were streaming down my face.” Your body first records feelings before your mind is aware of them. Try this exercise: “I don’t love my (and insert your pet’s name or a person’s name). See how that feels in your body. Now reverse this: “I love my pet or person’s name.” You can feel the difference in your body. Practice focusing on how your feelings are connected to your body. The body-mind connection is powerful. Often we hear about “the mind-body connection” but it is actually the reverse. Our body, our gut, our core is our operating system. It feeds our mind information 24/7 and is your most valuable resource. More on this in future posts.
May 22, 2019
Falling in love usually leads to wanting more and more: more time with your partner, more stability and that “living happily ever after” dream of being together forever. However, love is not enough when it comes to personal happiness and fulfillment.
“No partnership of equals — that is, no truly satisfying partnership — can be complete without each partner recognizing and respecting in the other a sense of purpose beyond the relationship, a contribution to the world that reflects and advances that person’s deepest values and most impassioned dreams, in turn adding creative, intellectual, and spiritual fuel to the shared fire of the relationship.” (Cinderalla Liberator by Rebecca Solnit and Arthur Rackham).
May 19, 2019
As women we do a lot for other people sometimes to the detriment of our own joy and well-being. Sacrifice is involved: sacrifice of our time, our free will and our feelings. If what you want to do today is go to the gym, shop a bit, meet a friend for lunch and maybe even take a nap, if you have a to-do list a mile long, family and friends who need your attention, then that is most likely not going to happen. Doing things for other people often requires sacrifice. That can feel difficult, obligatory, create low energy and often result in a backlash of resentment.
However, doing something kind for someone else is a conscious choice and the immediate payback for you is not resentment, but joy. When we intend to be kind to someone it is not an act of sacrifice or dependency, but a transaction where each person involved feels a surge of happiness! That is a win-win for both and does not involve obligation, “the shoulds” and is free of resentment. Doing something for someone out of the kindness and willingness of your heart is not co-dependent, in fact, it is independent of anyone else’s needs. Being kind and thoughtful towards another person will give you more energy, a smile on your face and brighten your heart.
May 18, 2019
Almost everyone is screwed up. broken, clingy, scared, and yet designed for joy. Even (or especially) people who seem to have it more or less together are more like the rest of us than you would believe. I try not to compare my insides to their outsides because this makes me much worse than I already am, and if I get to know them, they turn out to have plenty of irritability and shadow of their own. Besides, those few people who aren’t a mess are probably good for about twenty minutes of dinner conversation. Anne Lamott, Almost Everything).
My favorite friends are those I can “submarine” with, which is to go deep fast, sometimes this happens when we first meet for coffee, lunch or dinner. While I appreciate personal boundaries and don’t really enjoy being dumped on with all their problems, messes and drama when first getting to know someone, I do appreciate someone being honest and open about the good in their life and their challenges and vulnerabilities. That seems like a real person and a real conversation. I don’t think anyone wants to hear any kind of boasting about how perfect someone’s life is, or maybe they do and it’s just me. I far prefer imperfect people, just a bit on the sassy, witty and irreverent side. I much prefer, however, that they are also kind, compassionate, with a strong sense of social justice.
