“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.” Brene Brown
“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.” Janet Louise Stephenson
“Sometimes, to our dismay, we find that we have been living someone else’s life, that their values have and are directing our choices. While this life we are leading never quite feels right, it seems to be the only alternative. Even when we win the applause of others, we secretly feel fraudulent.”
“Moreover, virtually all of us lack a deep sense of permission to lead our own lives. We learned very early that the world exacted conditions that, if not met, could result in punishment or abandonment. That message, overlearned and internalized, remains a formidable block to the ego’s capacity to elect its own path. (James Hollis, Finding Meaning the Second Half of Life).
The commitment to be awake in your life, to step back and be the observer of you being you in your daily life and to course-correct as needed, is a commitment that is born out of courage, being open-minded and being more committed to the journey than the destination.
As a counselor, I have had the privilege of listening to my clients searching for their authentic Self. Typically, their relationships define them, the roles they play in those relationships: partner, wife, husband, friend, parent, child, work life, and so on. But, searching for the authentic Self plays out in every one of those relationships. Questions one might ask as they search for their authentic Self is: “I wonder what I should do? What do they want from me? Am I being selfish? How do I even know what I want? I don’t like my body, I don’t like my bad habits, I want to change.” All of this is a search for your authentic Self. Who you are apart and yet connected to others in one’s life is a lifetime journey. Discovery of your true Self starts with paying attention to your beliefs and values, how you arrived at them, and if you still believe them. The next step is how you behave, do you behave aligned with your beliefs and values? Or do you need to change your behavior or your beliefs? More on search for Self in my next posts.
“What is as important as knowledge?” asked the mind. “Caring and seeing with the Heart” answered the Soul. (Flavia).
When you say yes to someone or something, you automatically say no to something else in your life. Be careful to look at the automatic no when you agree to do something. For example,.if you say yes to being on a committee, volunteering, taking a class or simply doing someone a favor, all of which are worthwhile situations to say yes to, you automatically say no to being home more and possibly relaxing, binging you favorite Netflix, reading a good book, exercising, hanging with friends or famiy, having flexibility on that day (as you now have something scheduled). Before saying yes to anything, take a good look at the automatic “no’s” that come with it. Make sure it is really a yes that works in your best interests.
Don't miss out. Sign up today!