The Dalai Lama shared: In the West, you have education. This is good. You have technology. This is good. But you do not educate your people in values of the heart, of compassion. This you must do,” the Dalai Lama said. “It does not matter whether you are Buddhist or Christian. Compassion lives in the heart, beyond religion. Even me, a Buddhist, can say that you do not need Buddhism. All you need is the compassion of the heart. Women know this because peace is implicit in women. You put boys together, they make war. You put women together, they make peace. Women are the leaders of the future.
From the Lion’s Roar: The Dalai Lama: Women are the Leaders of the Future BY DANIELLE LAPORTE|
Do you think at times that your friends and other people are just running around living these amazing lives, all happy and energetic and enjoying life to the fullest? While you may be coping with your own mental health issues such as depression or anxiety, feeling sluggish and tired, unmotivated, a bit burned out and not exactly thrilled about anything on your horizon; it is easy to imagine that everyone else on your social media accounts, or your friends and family and neighbors are all just livin the dream. I know for sure that is not true. I know for sure because I am a counselor and have heard the stories of people’s lives behind the scenes, behind their front doors, and I am a witness that absolutely no one’s life is fabulous day after day. I was recently reminded of this on my walk yesterday through my neighborhood. Admiring all the different pretty homes and yards and wondering who lives there, and what their lives are like. When I would pass an especially expensive beautiful home, I would imagine that their lives were especially better than mine. While I know that is absolutely not true, that anyone who is human will struggle with life at some time, if not daily. Everyone is coping with something, whether it is finances, marriage problems, going through a divorce or losing someone they love, a scary diagnosis, loss of a job, problems and worries about their kids, estranged or challenging relationships with relatives, battling weight, aging, and appearance issues, and simply feeling stuck in a life that they simply do not want to live in anymore. The Buddha said, “To Live is To Suffer” and that we can only find peace, contentment and joy by realizing our own suffering and knowing that everyone else has their own suffering. When we accept that we are all in the same boat, sharing the same human experience this should move us towards compassion towards everyone we meet and come in contact with and of course those we love. Everyone could use more compassion. So when you are driving, walking or running by them remember that each one of those homes has some pain, and some joy and hundreds of stories
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This is an excerpt and the key is practice:
Practice 1 The only person you can change is you! You have 100% direct influence on how you behave, how you fill yourself with positive support such as spiritual or uplifting books, podcasts, blogs, Youtube, Ted Talks, short stories, and how you view the world. You are the circle of influence, the one person you can count on to change for the better. I know it would be so much easier if you could just change everyone else, and, I am sure you work on that a little bit every day. However, as you are well aware of, no one wants your good advice, your smart observations or correcting someone else’s behaviors, unless, of course, you are asked directly to do so. So today, put your energy into your own well being, self-improvement, self-acceptance and love yourself up a bit just to be sure you get some love at the start of your day. (And, if you don’t know how to do that…here is how: give yourself 3 compliments, write down 3 things you are grateful for and choose super healthy food to start your day, and put some time in your morning for a walk, yoga treadmill or the gym).
My clients often share with me that they don’t know how to access their feelings or that their partner has a tough time sharing their feelings. Feelings are usually in the range of sad, mad, or glad and are different than our thoughts. ” I thought the movie was sad” is not a feeling it is a thought. “I was so sad when I watched the movie, tears were streaming down my face.” Your body first records feelings before your mind is aware of them. Try this exercise: “I don’t love my (and insert your pet’s name or a person’s name). See how that feels in your body. Now reverse this: “I love my pet or person’s name.” You can feel the difference in your body. Practice focusing on how your feelings are connected to your body. The body-mind connection is powerful. Often we hear about “the mind-body connection” but it is actually the reverse. Our body, our gut, our core is our operating system. It feeds our mind information 24/7 and is your most valuable resource. More on this in future posts.
“Of course, the world is not divided into two types of women: those who grow and those who don’t. All of us fit into both groups almost every day of our lives. Some of the time, we are good copers and resilient human beings, in other moments, we are reactive and pessimistic. Pain, sorrow and anger will always be with us. But, with will, intentionality, and the right set of skills, we can be happier over the long haul.” (Women Rowing North, Mary Pipher, page 2 Kindle). All of us can expand our self-awareness at any age, and at any time. Having a curious and open mindset and seeking conversations about ourselves with counselors, our more enlightened friends, reading self-growth books, googling pertinent articles on the areas in our lives we wish to improve. There simply is no shortage of help available once you commit to growing, healing and becoming more self-aware. I am here for you, also.
My clients often share with me that they don’t know how to access their feelings or that their partner has a tough time sharing their feelings. Feelings are usually in the range of sad, mad, or glad and are different than our thoughts. ” I thought the movie was sad” is not a feeling it is a thought. “I was so sad when I watched the movie, tears were streaming down my face.” Your body first records feelings before your mind is aware of them. Try this exercise: “I don’t love my (and insert your pet’s name or a person’s name). See how that feels in your body. Now reverse this: “I love my pet or person’s name.” You can feel the difference in your body. Practice focusing on how your feelings are connected to your body. The body-mind connection is powerful. Often we hear about “the mind-body connection” but it is actually the reverse. Our body, our gut, our core is our operating system. It feeds our mind information 24/7 and is your most valuable resource. More on this in future posts.