Oct 21, 2020
It has been a while since I have been in touch with you! I needed some time to recoop and refill which is what I recommend repeatedly to the women I work with. Women are givers and it is important for your evolution with your own soul growth to step back and check-in to see if you are on the course you wish to be on.
I am personally giving a lot of thought to living a retired lifestyle in the sunshine of AZ, moving from my home state, (which sadly will be away from my family and friends) to start a new chapter in my life with my husband without work tying us to a schedule. Knowing my own self, I will not stop working, as my work brings me joy and fills a part of me that no one or anything else can fill. Though I do foresee much more playtime than work time.
Every one of us is in some sort of transition and/or is feeling stagnant or stuck. I think especially with COVID, feeling stagnant and stuck can often run the show, especially for the extroverts and for those of us who crave contact with our friends and family. It will be a long winter, especially for those of us in colder climates who don’t have more of the freedom to meet friends and family outdoors.
How are you planning to cope with the oncoming winter with the virus still running so much of our social and business lives? What strategies will you put in place to create, to inspire and to guide you? Depression and anxiety are running rampant in the world, as we are all getting more fatigued with the lifestyle change from the pandemic. How will you support yourself and others?
Waking Wise is living consciously and deliberately, with intentions and goals which can help define your journey and result in more joy and satisfaction. Use your creative self during this time. Want to learn a new language? Want to take some classes? Join groups on zoom? Start a group? This is a great time to grow by adding some new interests. I have personally taken on cooking, as I am not much of a cook, so I have been having some fun learning new recipes and trying them out on my family (I know, poor them)!
I am also offering a master class for women who want to stay in touch with their own feelings and thoughts and who want to grow during this winter season. Who want to PLAN to grow, to make it a part of their intention for the months ahead. If interested here is the link to check this out, love to have you!: https://mailchi.mp/gailmanahan/high-functioning-woman
Life is always changing, nothing is permanent. Within your own evolution, learning to listen to the deepest parts of yourself and re-choosing who you currently are, what you are interested in now and what new possibilities would you want to explore? All of this means taking a risk and stretching outside of what is comfortable. However, that is where learning and growth reside. How will you create joy, passion and excitement during these fall and winter seasons?
Love to hear from you!
Kindly,
Gail
Jul 9, 2020
My heart has been especially heavy in the past couple of weeks, as one of my daughters is struggling with the unraveling of a relationship that has left her heartbroken, unsure and skeptical of her future. Falling in love and planning a life together is one of the most fulfilling journeys two people create and plan together. The pictures of this new life became ingrained in her mind, all the new possibilities, and the launching of living happily ever after. Not to mention the deep connection and love felt for the person she has chosen to spend her life with.
When one person in the relationship shifts to another dream or plan, or the couple is under unusual stress and there are fights and struggles to gain ground or to stay closely connected on top of conflict and disappointment the relationship can unravel. As can the dream. the living happily ever after.
As a parent, you know that you love your kids more than your self. You would rather be the one in pain than watch them go through their pain, tears, fear of the future, fear that they will never find love again. If your child has gone through a divorce which also negatively impacts their children, your pain multiplies. As parents, we grieve all the pain our children go through, from a friend being mean to them in their elementary years to their pain as adults facing life’s uncertainties and subsequent hardships and pain.
There is no way out of this for parents. It is a life long journey of celebration for our children’s successes, new beginnings, accomplishments, and who they are as people. And, the flip side is the hurt and pain when our children are hurting and navigating the rough spots, the losses, and the heartbreaks.
If you are a parent you know this journey very well. You feel it in every inch of your mind, body and soul. I know that I am feeling this as I write to you. My daughter is hurting deeply and I hurt deeply for her. My pain is not as intense as hers. my pain is not first hand, suffering myself from the breakup. It is her pain, her facing the downs in life that is currently her reality. However, it is a shared pain, it is like when a glass spills and the liquid touches many surfaces as it spreads. .And because of our deep love for our kids, we will be part of the cleanup. We will do everything in our power to be sure their cup is filled again as our children set out again to fulfill their dreams of happily ever after.
May 18, 2020
I have had the honor and privilege of being a part of thousands of personal conversations from my profession as a counselor and from my friends and family. The stories my clients have shared with me regarding the painful challenges in their lives not only often results in tears and sadness as I empathize with their situations, it, also, results in my witnessing the courageous manner in which so many of them cope with their grief and hard times. We are all experiencing our own grief at this time with the pandemic. We all know that some are much more impacted due to the death of their loved ones, their own struggle with surviving the virus, the loss of income, food insecurity, the piling of bills and debt and the collective concern and downright fear of what the future holds.
While we all have the content of our lives, of our situations, the content stays mostly the same. We have our people, our homes, our material possessions, our pets, our devices, our social media, etc. This is all a part of our content. Often, the weight of our circumstances, the content of our lives is so heavy we can barely breathe. Some content is light and can be dismissed as a first world problem or shallow and frivolous. We typically wake up in our same bed day after day. and live our lives with our routines and norms. Content can change, of course, but it is often static.
However, our power lies in the context. How we hold the content. The frame we put on our content. Now more than ever, with the COVID, focusing on the frame is where we will lift ourselves up, find that silver lining, create a more positive and meaningful point of view.
I am so impressed with my friends, family, and clients who have done just that. Instead, of blaming, being resentful, wallowing in self-pity or becoming frozen with fear and anxiety, they frame this time in their life in a meaningful way. Some see it as an opportunity to re-organize the way they do business, some find that mother nature is in charge and this is actually good for our planet, some count their blessings that they or their loved ones are not sick, some are committed to their civic duty of doing all they can do to keep others safe and some, especially the introverts, love the excuse to stay home even more! You, as well, are having conversations about the virus and its impact with your friends, family, and others and comments on your social media. There is a stark difference between those who put a positive frame on this challenging event happening in all of our lives, and those who blame it on the government, politics, the conspiracy theories, other countries, the unfairness of it all, etc. etc.
And, all of this is no different than what I have witnessed, with the many conversations with so many people in pain having nothing to do with the virus. Those who frame their circumstantial grief with a positive meaningful frame and those who see themselves only as victims, that life singled them out to deliberately destroy them, the why is this happening to me victim thinking? I know four of the kindest, brightest, hard-working, compassionate women right now who are my friends, all dealing daily with surviving cancer. Every one of these women, speaks from a positive hopeful place. Do they have their moments of fear, the why me? who shed a lot of tears and deal with fear and anxiety?? Yes, of course. But, they know they have the power of their own minds to frame their situation in a way they can find peace and love and acceptance for what is so in their lives.
It isn’t that we don’t all go into a victim mindset when we are dealing with bad news. We all go there to some extent at times. But, all of us, every one of us has the freedom and the choice to see it differently, to re-frame the content where we feel more resolved, more empowered and more loving towards ourselves and other people and to find acceptance with the reality of our life. Not the dream of how we want it to be. But, how it is.
How are you coping? I would love to hear from you!
Gail
Apr 9, 2020
You can copy these questions and put on your mirror or within your sight during the day- this is a great checklist for coping!
Remember SHORT TERM PAIN=LONG TERM GAIN. This is not fun by any means; staying home, not socializing and not being fully back in our lives. But, listening to the medical personnel PLEADING with us all to stay home, this is short term pain for all of us. However, they know more than anyone what is actually happening, the sick, the dying, those who make it. So, yes, this is not fun and it is restricting, especially income wise for those who have lost their income, But, staying home will result in long term gain for all of us, or for all who are fortunate enough to live through this pandemic.
Hang in there, this too shall pass, it really really will.
If I can help you out, let me know!
Gail
Mar 27, 2020
I love how resilient we all are when faced with a life-threatening situation. These are beautiful re-frames, and I bet you can come up with even more, or you wouldn’t be reading this blog. You are wise like that.
![Reframe: Now is the Time for Empathy and Sympathy]()
Mar 25, 2020
I wake up with the thought “Oh boy, another day home, another day without seeing my family and friends and another day I hope no one I know or love gets sick.” Starting the day feeling annoyed by this virus situation only makes me feel worse. This is when I step back and widen my perspective, as I put a new frame on that content. When my mother in law was dying of a brain tumor she would cheerfully say she had been working at her church at the food bank. She said: “There are always people much worse off than me, so I do what I can to help.”
And, of course, there are, always people who are much much worse off than any of us. I am personally fortunate during this time that our household income has not dropped, but several of my friends have lost their businesses and jobs within a few days and their incomes. Some of my other friends already have a serious llfe and death illness they were struggling with before all of us were looking a life or death illness in the eye. People living in poverty all over the world have few or no medical resources available every day of their lives or adequate shelter or access to food. Many families are living in active war zones. Ok, ok you get the picture… we have all lived pretty good lives here in the US, even with this virus we have so much to be grateful for no matter our life circumstances.
If you wake up feeling frustrated about all the new restrictions, step back and see a bigger picture, there are so many people all over the world who are suffering so much more than you. That may not give you comfort, the scope of suffering in the world. But, it should at least give you the perspective that things can always be worse and that you have lots to be grateful for as there are many great things going on in your own life even with this pandemic changing all of our lives.
It is an especially good time to be more empathetic and sympathetic for the plight of those less fortunate. And, pro-active when it comes to helping each other out when we can. This is not a time to dwell on the fact you can’t get your Starbucks fix, take your kids to the park or hang out with your friends and family. This too shall pass. It really really will.
Look to re-frame your situation/issue/problem to find a way to cope and to have some relief. You always have this choice available.
To your health and happiness,
Gail
