Sep 25, 2024
I think about death every day. I once read that there are people who think about death every day and people who don’t. So, I was happy to know I wasn’t the only one in what some may perceive as rather morbid thinking. I am a student of Tibetan Buddhism, and the lessons on impermanence are very close to my heart. When I was raising my kids, death was a teacher. “Do you really want to send them off to school ticked off at them, when maybe they will never come back? Do you want them to go to bed at night feeling scolded about something?” My life has been mostly easy in terms of good health and the ability to work in a career I love. I am careful not to take that for granted. As I know, any day, especially now at my age, I could drop dead or get a terminal disease. I even think about how I keep my home, decluttering so my kids don’t have much to go through when I die. I have a will; I have everything as organized as possible. All because I think about death every day. And as far as life, living my life, I know that change is inevitable, nothing is permanent, so therefore, I cherish my days and am grateful that my family members are alive and healthy and happy as well as my friends (given that we all have our good and bad moments). Death is my teacher. It teaches me to remember how fleeting life is, that death is always near, and to be grateful for all the days I am still here.
Dec 13, 2022
Curiosity is the explorer in all of us to build a bigger life, to stretch our thinking and our interests to the millions of lessons we can learn about the world we live in.
To be curious is to not know which is the highest emotional intelligence we can possess. By not knowing we are open to exploring new ideas, concepts, history, the future, science, health, and all of the variety of people, cultures, lifestyles, religions and spiritual paths in our world, just to name a few.
Curiosity is the main attribute of open-minded people.
People who are close-minded know as opposed to not knowing, they have all the answers and are not particularly curious in learning anything more outside of what they already know. They have it all locked up and decided.
Are you a curious person? Are you passionate about learning, exploring, and being open to new ideas? Do you love asking questions to the people you meet or have known forever, that will enhance your learning about them and their world?
Are you a lifelong learner? Are you willing to go out of your comfort zone to try out new experiences, and learn new information about topics you may not have even considered before?
The opposite of being curious is boredom and stagnation. And with google at your fingertips, access to media, books, the classes and events that your community offers and the people in your life, you really have no excuse to be bored.
Be active in your curiosity., explore, you will live a more fulfilling, passionate and stimulated life!
Dec 24, 2020
The heroes of last year, those who were the most important people in our lives, were our doctors and nurses, our nursing home health care workers and any and all of those in the health care profession who risked their lives to save ours. Our public health officials (at times actually dealing with threats against their lives and nasty emails and letters) have worked tirelessly in educating government officials and the public on staying as safe as possible during this global pandemic.
As a mental health professional, I am very aware of the toll this past year has taken on people’s psyches and well being. I am aware of the toll it has taken on my own well being, though, I count myself as one of the lucky ones health wise, financially, and thankfully, I have not personally suffered the loss of a family or friend from COVID. I decided to open my practice back up to support people as the small part I can play in navigating the COVID emotional tsunami.
It did not take long until clients poured in. I provide services for Employee Assistance Programs and the employee referrals have been endless. The clients I see are doctors, nurses, public health officials, college age students struggling with their isolation, couples struggling with too much stress and time together, parents, teachers, and even a nun who provides ongoing hope, prayer and care to the patients she comforts. It truly is a wake up call for me, when a young doctor can only cry through the session, from long hours, no personal relief time and being in the center of patient care with COVID. My one hour of support a week isn’t very much considering the entire life of these clients, but it is something I can do to support them and I am grateful I can contribute at least some support and relief.
2020 was the year that globally we all were negatively impacted. Some much much worse than others. But, it was also the year of bringing out our humanity and compassion, of standing up for lives that are marginalized and disadvantaged by our systems, for voting out politicians who divide and bully and only self serve. Love and compassion, behind the scenes of all the nasty politics that dominated the media, love and compassion were at work, every minute of every day. As I look back on 2020 I am grateful for the steady stream of care from our health care providers who worked to save lives, give extraordinary patient care hour after hour and the compassion they showed as they comforted the dying when family members could not be there at their loved one’s last moments. Looking back on 2020, it was a wild ride. I am deeply grateful that love and compassion are still the centerpiece of our humanity. Thank you to all of you who helped get us through this past year.
Jul 9, 2020
My heart has been especially heavy in the past couple of weeks, as one of my daughters is struggling with the unraveling of a relationship that has left her heartbroken, unsure and skeptical of her future. Falling in love and planning a life together is one of the most fulfilling journeys two people create and plan together. The pictures of this new life became ingrained in her mind, all the new possibilities, and the launching of living happily ever after. Not to mention the deep connection and love felt for the person she has chosen to spend her life with.
When one person in the relationship shifts to another dream or plan, or the couple is under unusual stress and there are fights and struggles to gain ground or to stay closely connected on top of conflict and disappointment the relationship can unravel. As can the dream. the living happily ever after.
As a parent, you know that you love your kids more than your self. You would rather be the one in pain than watch them go through their pain, tears, fear of the future, fear that they will never find love again. If your child has gone through a divorce which also negatively impacts their children, your pain multiplies. As parents, we grieve all the pain our children go through, from a friend being mean to them in their elementary years to their pain as adults facing life’s uncertainties and subsequent hardships and pain.
There is no way out of this for parents. It is a life long journey of celebration for our children’s successes, new beginnings, accomplishments, and who they are as people. And, the flip side is the hurt and pain when our children are hurting and navigating the rough spots, the losses, and the heartbreaks.
If you are a parent you know this journey very well. You feel it in every inch of your mind, body and soul. I know that I am feeling this as I write to you. My daughter is hurting deeply and I hurt deeply for her. My pain is not as intense as hers. my pain is not first hand, suffering myself from the breakup. It is her pain, her facing the downs in life that is currently her reality. However, it is a shared pain, it is like when a glass spills and the liquid touches many surfaces as it spreads. .And because of our deep love for our kids, we will be part of the cleanup. We will do everything in our power to be sure their cup is filled again as our children set out again to fulfill their dreams of happily ever after.
Jul 1, 2020
Because we don’t feel worthy. Because we’re focused on pleasing others instead of ourselves. Because we want to be loved. Because we’re trying to win at someone else’s reward system. Because we’re told not to get too big for our britches. Because we’re operating on the premise that what other people think actually matters to our well being.
Because it feels vulnerable to feel good, and we start to fear that is won’t last. Because positive feelings such as joy, happiness, bliss abundance and more, are very very powerful. And that kind of energy current can shake up our emotional structures–joy can blow your mind. Positive emotions can also be threatening to the people around us who’d prefer miserable company.
JOY DOES NOT FIT INTO THE STATUS QUO. (Quoted from The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul by Danielle Laporte)
I am enjoying learning from just about every word on the page in this book “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. I highly recommend this read for inspiration in your personal and work life!
Jun 29, 2020
Buddhist wisdom says: There are no Good People or Bad People there are only Skilled and Unskilled. Think about this in your own experiences. What makes someone a bad driver or a good driver? A good cook or a not so good cook? A good surgeon or a bad surgeon? An effective parent or an ineffective parent? What makes a good marriage or a bad marriage? A good mechanic or a bad mechanic? Good customer service or bad customer service?
Being good at anything in life has to do with our skillsets, what we have learned, what we know, and what we successfully apply. If there is one consistent complaint I hear when working with my clients (and what personally negatively affects my relationship) is a lack of good communication in their relationships. When my husband and I have a disconnect in our communication we can bicker and argue and both of us can be left frustrated and misunderstood.
When we use the skills we have learned from self-growth classes, retreats, workshops, and seminars we have participated in, we then connect better, communicate better, and feel better about ourselves and our relationship.
You were not born with skillsets for swimming, driving a car, baking a cake or communicating effectively. You have learned to swim and not drown by taking classes or having someone teach you to stay afloat. You took classes or had someone teach you to drive a car so you safely stayed on the road. You didn’t just walk into your kitchen and pull out a bunch of random ingredients to bake a cake, you followed a recipe that someone else put together so the chemistry would create a delicious cake. And, those of you who are functioning at a high level in your marriages, family, friends, and co-workers’ relationships have learned effective skills that someone taught you whether through classes, seminars, workshops, books, magazines or via good role modeling.
My entire life’s work is teaching people how to live a better life. My expertise, my playbook, my skill set IS teaching people emotional, social and personal effectiveness intelligence. I invite you to join me this July to learn more skills resulting in more love, happiness, joy and success in YOUR life. Check out my upcoming online mini-course starting in just a few days! https://tinyurl.com/yarwcxhu
I guarantee that what you learn will be invaluable and improve every relationship in your life!
See you on the Zoom July 7th! enroll here https://tinyurl.com/yarwcxhu
