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To be curious is to not know which is the highest emotional intelligence we can possess. By not knowing we are open to exploring new ideas, concepts, history, the future, science, health, and all of the variety of people, cultures, lifestyles, religions and spiritual paths in our world,  just to name a few.

Curiosity is the main attribute of open-minded people.

People who are close-minded know as opposed to not knowing, they have all the answers and are not particularly curious in learning anything more outside of what they already know. They have it all locked up and decided.

Are you a curious person? Are you passionate about learning, exploring, and being open to new ideas? Do you love asking questions to the people you meet or have known forever, that will enhance your learning about them and their world?

Are you a lifelong learner? Are you willing to go out of your comfort zone to try out new experiences, and learn new information about topics you may not have even considered before?

The opposite of being curious is boredom and stagnation. And with google at your fingertips, access to media, books, the classes and events that your community offers and the people in your life, you really have no excuse to be bored.

Be active in your curiosity., explore, you will live a more fulfilling, passionate and stimulated life!

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As a mental health professional, I am very aware of the toll this past year has taken on people’s psyches and well being. I am aware of the toll it has taken on my own well being, though, I count myself as one of the lucky ones health wise, financially, and thankfully,  I have not personally suffered the loss of a family or friend from COVID. I decided to open my practice back up to support people as the small part I can play in navigating the COVID emotional tsunami.

It did not take long until clients poured in. I provide services for Employee Assistance Programs and the employee referrals have been endless. The clients I see are doctors, nurses, public health officials, college age students struggling with their isolation, couples struggling with too much stress and time together, parents, teachers, and even a nun who provides ongoing hope, prayer and care to the patients she comforts. It truly is a wake up call for me, when a young doctor can only cry through the session, from long hours, no personal relief time and being in the center of patient care with COVID.  My one hour of support a week isn’t very much considering the entire life of these clients, but it is something I can do to support them and I am grateful I can contribute at least some support and relief.

2020 was the year that globally we all were negatively impacted. Some much much worse than others. But, it was also the year of bringing out our humanity and compassion, of standing up for lives that are marginalized and disadvantaged by our systems, for voting out politicians who divide and bully and only self serve. Love and compassion,  behind the scenes of all the nasty politics that dominated the media, love and compassion were at work, every minute of every day. As I look back on 2020 I am grateful for the steady stream of care from our health care providers who worked to save lives, give extraordinary patient care hour after hour and the compassion they showed as they comforted the dying when family members could not be there at their loved one’s last moments.  Looking back on 2020, it was a wild ride. I am deeply grateful that love and compassion are still the centerpiece of our humanity. Thank you to all of you who helped get us through this past year.

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When one person in the relationship shifts to another dream or plan, or the couple is under unusual stress and there are fights and struggles to gain ground or to stay closely connected on top of conflict and disappointment the relationship can unravel. As can the dream. the living happily ever after.

As a parent, you know that you love your kids more than your self. You would rather be the one in pain than watch them go through their pain, tears, fear of the future, fear that they will never find love again. If your child has gone through a divorce which also negatively impacts their children, your pain multiplies. As parents, we grieve all the pain our children go through, from a friend being mean to them in their elementary years to their pain as adults facing life’s uncertainties and subsequent hardships and pain.

There is no way out of this for parents. It is a life long journey of celebration for our children’s successes, new beginnings, accomplishments, and who they are as people. And, the flip side is the hurt and pain when our children are hurting and navigating the rough spots, the losses, and the heartbreaks.

If you are a parent you know this journey very well. You feel it in every inch of your mind, body and soul. I know that I am feeling this as I write to you. My daughter is hurting deeply and I hurt deeply for her. My pain is not as intense as hers. my pain is not first hand, suffering myself from the breakup. It is her pain, her facing the downs in life that is currently her reality. However, it is a shared pain, it is like when a glass spills and the liquid touches many surfaces as it spreads.  .And because of our deep love for our kids, we will be part of the cleanup.  We will do everything in our power to be sure their cup is filled again as our children set out again to fulfill their dreams of happily ever after.

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Because it feels vulnerable to feel good, and we start to fear that is won’t last. Because positive feelings such as joy, happiness, bliss abundance and more, are very very powerful. And that kind of energy current can shake up our emotional structures–joy can blow your mind. Positive emotions can also be threatening to the people around us who’d prefer miserable company.

JOY DOES NOT FIT INTO THE STATUS QUO.  (Quoted from The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul by Danielle Laporte)

I am enjoying learning from just about every word on the page in this book “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. I highly recommend this read for inspiration in your personal and work life!

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Being good at anything in life has to do with our skillsets, what we have learned, what we know, and what we successfully apply. If there is one consistent complaint I hear when working with my clients (and what personally negatively affects my relationship) is a lack of good communication in their relationships.  When my husband and I have a disconnect in our communication we can bicker and argue and both of us can be left frustrated and misunderstood.

When we use the skills we have learned from self-growth classes, retreats, workshops, and seminars we have participated in, we then connect better, communicate better, and feel better about ourselves and our relationship.

You were not born with skillsets for swimming, driving a car, baking a cake or communicating effectively. You have learned to swim and not drown by taking classes or having someone teach you to stay afloat. You took classes or had someone teach you to drive a car so you safely stayed on the road. You didn’t just walk into your kitchen and pull out a bunch of random ingredients to bake a cake, you followed a recipe that someone else put together so the chemistry would create a delicious cake. And, those of you who are functioning at a high level in your marriages, family, friends, and co-workers’ relationships have learned effective skills that someone taught you whether through classes, seminars, workshops, books, magazines or via good role modeling.

My entire life’s work is teaching people how to live a better life. My expertise, my playbook, my skill set IS teaching people emotional, social and personal effectiveness intelligence.  I invite you to join me this July to learn more skills resulting in more love, happiness, joy and success in YOUR life. Check out my upcoming online mini-course starting in just a few days! https://tinyurl.com/yarwcxhu

I guarantee that what you learn will be invaluable and improve every relationship in your life!

See you on the Zoom July 7th! enroll here https://tinyurl.com/yarwcxhu

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When the shelter in place order began, I felt called to offer an online support group for women as it was something, I could contribute during this scary time for so many of us. And now 9 weeks later I have “paused” the group as my summer schedule is changing and it was time. Here is what I learned:

Once again women show up when it comes to sharing what is truly going on with them. Trust was built in this group within the first meeting. When the women signed up for the group, they had no idea who  would be in the group. They risked their comfort zone, and when they risked going outside of their comfort zone, they stepped into the area of learning. And, what these women learned was that kindred spirits were present, that every one of the women contributed their own strength, wisdom, vulnerability and courage to the group.

I love working with women of all ages and journeys. I learn from every one of them every time. My own heart and spirit fill up as they so beautifully share the truth about their lives. Some of these women live alone having lost their spouses, some are fully engaged in raising children, some are teachers not only teaching online at home but raising their own kids. Some struggle with heartache from conflict with their children,  some are struggling with ill health, all are missing their previous lifestyles before the virus and wondering about the future. And, of course, there are the usual more frivolous conversations such as the need for hair appointments, mani-pedis and the increased consumption of food and alcohol. These women, from across the age groups, with similar and very different life journeys all show up, contribute and strengthen each other.

There wasn’t one person in that group who shared something I could not relate to. Every person, everything they shared was relatable and valuable. And, yet every one of those women questioned if what they said was rambling, or took up too much time, or wasn’t the right thing to share, or maybe they could have shared it better. Women and low self-esteem. Women who doubt their wisdom and their value. It is an epidemic.  I experience these women so differently than how they see themselves. I see their beauty, their generous hearts, their vast competence and their tremendous strength.

Isn’t it time you gave up your self-doubt, your clinging to an image of yourself as not good enough, or less than, or that somehow you are never going to get this right? Isn’t it time that you realize that being who you are right now is enough and just by being here now, you positively impact your friends and family and contribute to what is good in the world? Consider not wasting another precious moment of your life doubting your value. Instead, reach out today and see how you can empower those around you to see the beauty and goodness in themselves. It is a win-win.

If you are interested in being a part of the next groups (limited 7 per group) please email me at gail@gailmanahan.com

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Remember SHORT TERM PAIN=LONG TERM GAIN. This is not fun by any means;  staying home, not socializing and not being fully back in our lives. But, listening to the medical personnel PLEADING with us all to stay home, this is short term pain for all of us. However, they know more than anyone what is actually happening, the sick, the dying, those who make it. So, yes, this is not fun and it is restricting, especially income wise for those who have lost their income,  But, staying home will result in long term gain for all of us, or for all who are fortunate enough to live through this pandemic.

Hang in there, this too shall pass, it really really will.

If I can help you out, let me know!

Gail

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When you wake up in this ongoing “lock down” of personal freedom, no matter your circumstances, remember that if you wake up without this virus, if you wake up with no one you know having this virus, it is indeed a great day. And, if you can keep in mind, that the medical professionals are in a much worse situation than you are, perhaps, you can hold them in your positive thoughts and prayers.

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