![I Don’t Love My Dog]()
May 25, 2019
My clients often share with me that they don’t know how to access their feelings or that their partner has a tough time sharing their feelings. Feelings are usually in the range of sad, mad, or glad and are different than our thoughts. ” I thought the movie was sad” is not a feeling it is a thought. “I was so sad when I watched the movie, tears were streaming down my face.” Your body first records feelings before your mind is aware of them. Try this exercise: “I don’t love my (and insert your pet’s name or a person’s name). See how that feels in your body. Now reverse this: “I love my pet or person’s name.” You can feel the difference in your body. Practice focusing on how your feelings are connected to your body. The body-mind connection is powerful. Often we hear about “the mind-body connection” but it is actually the reverse. Our body, our gut, our core is our operating system. It feeds our mind information 24/7 and is your most valuable resource. More on this in future posts.
May 22, 2019
Falling in love usually leads to wanting more and more: more time with your partner, more stability and that “living happily ever after” dream of being together forever. However, love is not enough when it comes to personal happiness and fulfillment.
“No partnership of equals — that is, no truly satisfying partnership — can be complete without each partner recognizing and respecting in the other a sense of purpose beyond the relationship, a contribution to the world that reflects and advances that person’s deepest values and most impassioned dreams, in turn adding creative, intellectual, and spiritual fuel to the shared fire of the relationship.” (Cinderalla Liberator by Rebecca Solnit and Arthur Rackham).
May 18, 2019
Almost everyone is screwed up. broken, clingy, scared, and yet designed for joy. Even (or especially) people who seem to have it more or less together are more like the rest of us than you would believe. I try not to compare my insides to their outsides because this makes me much worse than I already am, and if I get to know them, they turn out to have plenty of irritability and shadow of their own. Besides, those few people who aren’t a mess are probably good for about twenty minutes of dinner conversation. Anne Lamott, Almost Everything).
My favorite friends are those I can “submarine” with, which is to go deep fast, sometimes this happens when we first meet for coffee, lunch or dinner. While I appreciate personal boundaries and don’t really enjoy being dumped on with all their problems, messes and drama when first getting to know someone, I do appreciate someone being honest and open about the good in their life and their challenges and vulnerabilities. That seems like a real person and a real conversation. I don’t think anyone wants to hear any kind of boasting about how perfect someone’s life is, or maybe they do and it’s just me. I far prefer imperfect people, just a bit on the sassy, witty and irreverent side. I much prefer, however, that they are also kind, compassionate, with a strong sense of social justice.
