To continue the lifetime journey of being true to yourself, and living your life lined up with your beliefs and values, there is another internal regulating system inside of you that can assist you to stay on your authentic path. This system is your “enlarging or diminishing sense of Self.and the energy you feel as this is taking place in your interactions. For example, you plan to meet a friend you haven’t seen for a while, however, when you are with them you notice you start to feel inferior. Your own sense of confidence and self-esteem feels diminished. It isn’t always in your face obvious and, in fact, it can sneak up on you either during or after you leave your friend. Or the opposite can occur, your energy level soars and your self-esteem and confidence and your sense of self improves and enlarges when you are with them.
This can happen in your intimate relationships, friendships, your familial relationships, and with acquaintances. Some times our closest relationships can impact us by a feeling of being ashamed, inferior or controlled.
Pay attention to your energy level, your self-esteem and confidence when hanging with the people in your life. If you feel less confidence, diminished self-esteem or any other negative feeling, maybe it’s time to address this issue with them. It may be time to break your ties to them or set some boundaries. And, conversely, if you feel empowered, loved, listen to, supported it may be time to let them know that you appreciate their loyalty, their support and unconditional love.
“Of each critical juncture of choice, one may usefully ask: “Does this path enlarge or diminish me?” Usually, we know the answer to that question. We know it intuitively, instinctively, in the gut. Choosing the path that enlarges is always going to mean choosing the path of individuation. The gods want us to grow up, to step up to that high calling that each soul carries as its destiny. Choosing the path that enlarges rather than diminishes will serve us well in navigating through our idol-ridden, clamourous, but sterile time and move us further toward meeting the person we were meant to be. (Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, James Hollis.)
