Holidays are a time of connection with family and friends at a more accelerated rate than our normal pace. We connect at the Thanksgiving Dinner table, at holiday office parties, with cards and gifts. with that extra phone call to friends or family at a distance. This connecting can be good for the soul as well as stressful as some of our relationships are complicated or even painful. The holidays, much like weddings and funerals, can put us into contact with people we typically don’t hang with or even go out of our way to avoid. All of this adds up to more emotional uptime, more situations to cope with and that leads to stress. (And, that extra connection to our wallets can also create added stress on top of everything else).
The worst part of the holidays is for those of us who have lost the people we love the most. Grieving the loss of our closest family members and friends during this season can be excruciatingly painful. Being alone without them to share in the hustle and bustle, the decorating, their presence at parties and at the traditions once shared, is a deep soul pain. An ache that finds its home in the heart while the media pushes and promotes only the joy of the season. All of us will face this grief during the Holidays at some point in our lives. Many of you are already coping with the loss of those you deeply love and miss. This can be the most difficult time of the year for so many. This is normal, and this too shall pass, though it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
No one knows what our lives will be like next year at this time. So much can change in a year. All we have is the present, this moment, this season. Even with grief and loss, there can be the silver lining, the taking stock of the blessings we do have in our lives, our family and friends who support us and encourage us when life shows us its ugly side. There is always something to cling to when grief is overwhelming. All of us will have stress and suffering, and the holidays intensify our grief. Reach out for support as needed, let people know you are hurting and need some extra attention. This is not a time to isolate, it is a time to reach out and ask for connection, your friends and family will respond as it is in our nature to want to help each other. Don’t make the mistake of thinking your friends and family should be initiating contact with you. You know that this time of year is busy for all, so they may not have you on the top of their minds. Instead, reach out to them and ask for their time, to be included, to have some extra support. There is courage in being vulnerable and asking for some extra care and love. And, you provide your family and friends with the opportunity to care for you, to open their hearts to help you out. This connection, this give and take with those we love is what heals and sustains us through the ups and downs of our lives. It is the most important part of our lives. As humans, nothing matters more than our attachment and connection to others.
I am grateful for you and the connection we share. I wish you the strength to reach out and be connected to those you love during this hyper-accelerated time of year.
