When we are closed to ideas, what we hear is criticism. When we are open to criticism, what we get is advice. (Together is Better by Simon Sinek).
Do you value advice? Or do you only feel criticized when someone who cares about you gives you advice, keeping in mind their intention is often to support you? I know I have been closed-minded and resistant to unsolicited advice. And, I also know that the advice, whether wanted or not, got me thinking and I either realize that the advice was spot on (even though I didn’t like it) or it did not fit for me and I categorized it as not true for me. Therefore I stay my chosen course. Or, the advice rummages around in me and I take it and begin to make some changes.
Many times when a friend, family, partner, or co-worker gives you their opinion or advice, it can be about changing you into who they want you to be, to satisfy them, but it doesn’t fit for you. Being an open learner means listening to advice (unwanted or not) and then thoughtfully considering if this advice really is in your best interests (not theirs).
Many cultures (not typically white Western US peeps) respect and value parents’ and grandparents’ guidance and advice and even who their parents choose for them to marry. This is something most Westerners reject as they strive for independence and search for autonomy, distancing themselves from their parents. However, many non-Western friends I have, often value and respect their parents’ advice while raising children, in their marriages, financial life, and health and well being.
Is it possible that those with more life experiences, longer lives and having lived through many decades may, in fact, have valuable advice to give? Many cultures think so! Is it possible that friends or co-workers who have gotten married, had babies, struggled with health problems, been through divorces, addiction or financial struggles may, in fact, have some good advice to share?
Maybe those who care about us the most, who have our best interests in mind: our family and friends and many of our co-workers have in fact some good advice that will improve our lives and help us on your own path. Maybe if we didn’t meet their advice with a shield to defend ourselves, but instead remained open to feedback (solicited or unsolicited) we could indeed learn something of value.
Again When we are closed to ideas, what we hear is criticism. When we are open to criticism, what we get is advice. (Together is Better by Simon Sinek).
Are you open?
