My heart has been especially heavy in the past couple of weeks, as one of my daughters is struggling with the unraveling of a relationship that has left her heartbroken, unsure and skeptical of her future. Falling in love and planning a life together is one of the most fulfilling journeys two people create and plan together. The pictures of this new life became ingrained in her mind, all the new possibilities, and the launching of living happily ever after. Not to mention the deep connection and love felt for the person she has chosen to spend her life with.
When one person in the relationship shifts to another dream or plan, or the couple is under unusual stress and there are fights and struggles to gain ground or to stay closely connected on top of conflict and disappointment the relationship can unravel. As can the dream. the living happily ever after.
As a parent, you know that you love your kids more than your self. You would rather be the one in pain than watch them go through their pain, tears, fear of the future, fear that they will never find love again. If your child has gone through a divorce which also negatively impacts their children, your pain multiplies. As parents, we grieve all the pain our children go through, from a friend being mean to them in their elementary years to their pain as adults facing life’s uncertainties and subsequent hardships and pain.
There is no way out of this for parents. It is a life long journey of celebration for our children’s successes, new beginnings, accomplishments, and who they are as people. And, the flip side is the hurt and pain when our children are hurting and navigating the rough spots, the losses, and the heartbreaks.
If you are a parent you know this journey very well. You feel it in every inch of your mind, body and soul. I know that I am feeling this as I write to you. My daughter is hurting deeply and I hurt deeply for her. My pain is not as intense as hers. my pain is not first hand, suffering myself from the breakup. It is her pain, her facing the downs in life that is currently her reality. However, it is a shared pain, it is like when a glass spills and the liquid touches many surfaces as it spreads. .And because of our deep love for our kids, we will be part of the cleanup. We will do everything in our power to be sure their cup is filled again as our children set out again to fulfill their dreams of happily ever after.
