Many of us are programmed from early childhood to achieve and to succeed. How many times do we ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Just ask any Senior in high school how many times they are asked, “What are you going to do after high school? Did you choose a career?” We are programmed to achieve and often pressured to excel to have a competitive edge over everyone else.  This type of social conditioning can manifest into perfectionist thinking. Perfectionist thinking results in setting personal goals that often cannot be achieved all the time. And, what do we think of ourselves when we don’t achieve our goals? We think less of ourselves, we feel shame, maybe embarrassment and we can feel guilty. Our self-esteem can plummet and our self-talk can beat us up.  For women especially,  think of your relationship with the bathroom scales as a prime example of struggling to achieve perfection.

A far healthier option is to strive for progress, not perfection. Progress can be measured with a mindset that witnesses success AND falling short.  Progress says to oneself; I am working on my health, I wm working on improving my career path by going to school, learning new skills, asking for a promotion. having a great work ethic, etc.  Progress says; I am a work in progress, I will never reach perfection, as no one can or does. But, every day that I wake up I can progress in being a better person, spouse, parent, friend, or employee. I may end up taking a few steps back, however, I have made progress.

Another example of this is the mindset of recovery–people count the days of sobriety but then beat themselves up when they relapse. They even go so far as saying this has wiped out all those days living alcohol/drug-free. This is perfection in action. Progress is celebrating every day you were living a sober life and then acknowledging you took some steps backward from your goal of clean living. Progress is motion, learning, regrouping and getting back on the horse.

Personally, I strive to eat a meatless diet. My goal is to fight the incredible inhumane and cruel industry of raising animals for food by not using my consumer dollars for eating animal products as food. I, also, believe it is healthier for my body to focus on plants first and to avoid consuming any meat or poultry, eggs, and dairy. I have a very strong belief and commitment to that goal. And, there are times I find myself choosing meat or dairy, I choose those with my eyes wide open. I make the choice even when it goes against my primary belief system. Does this negate all the days I was meat-free? Does it make me a fraud? Maybe from a perfectionist perspective, it does. But, from a progress perspective, I am succeeding 90% of the time when i make a non-animal food choice. That is progress. That is not perfection.

Take a look at the areas in your life that you strive for perfection. Wouldn’t it serve you to instead strive for progress? To embrace and celebrate every moment your choices line up with your goals instead of focusing on the times you don’t reach the mark you set? No one is perfect, you know this, isn’t it time you change your thinking and, perhaps, even the expectations you put onto others?   Love to hear how this applies to you!