I have been enjoying taking the month off from my regular activities related to my work; in my desperate attempt to fully enjoy the last month of summer before COVID pushes me back inside without the beautiful walks and time spent outdoors. It has been a month of conversations with my family, friends and my women clients. And, of course, with any conversation with women, there are similar themes that always come up in their lives.
The Shoulds are always at the top of the list. As natural caretakers, nurturers, planners, home supervisors and connectors, women can feel burdened making sure just about everyone they care about receives their support and love. And giving all that love and care can be exhausting and can feel like a burden as their role is to give and give and give, sometimes thanklessly and often on demand.
Just in the last month this is what women have been up to that I personally know:
- Nursing a husband 24/7 from a surgery.
- Making weekly trips to care for an elderly father who lives alone.
- Planning grocery lists and packing for the entire family in order to go camping, vacationing, or a weekend getaway.
- Preparing classrooms to go back to school and adjusting to virtual teaching as well as preparing their own children to be at home with them.
- Taking care of grandchildren so their parents can get a break.
- Leaving an unhealthy and destructive relationship which results in heartbreak since that was NOT the way it was supposed to go, but having the courage to move on and begin again,
- Women wrestling with the fear that they will not find the love of their life while their biological time clock is ticking away.
- A woman running off to spontaneously marry the love of her life.
- Moms having their adult children tell them you ruined my life while you were raising me or some form of this (this has happened to two good friends, whom I personally know were FABULOUS parents, so this has broken their hearts).
- Women catering more to their husband’s needs now that they have both retired.
- A mother stressed that their single parent daughter who takes care of her special needs child needs their support both emotionally and financially,
- A mom (ok, this is me) working on thousands of pictures taken over the last 45 years that needed to be organized and sorted and put on the cloud to share with her family (a legacy project and who else would do this)?
- Women running their own businesses that are often steps away from failing due to COVID,
- Women following through on often nasty treatments to live longer lives to fight their cancer so they can still be here to care for their kids.
- Women attending to sick spouses who had COVID.
- Women raising young kids 24/7 with little relief since COVID keeps most near home without the typical outlets.
Of course, there are endless situations women are coping with, loving and supporting their families, often being undervalued or even blatantly disrespected from the ones they love the most. However, the women I know look to see where they have created this, where they can place blame on themselves to see if they need to change. The women I know reach out to their girlfriends or professionals for support, and they keep hanging in there, they don’t leave, they don’t stop doing and caring and doing and caring, no matter the weight of their responsibilities, the demands put on them, their own sadness and disappointment when others have walked away or disappointed them. The women I know have endless courage, strength and perspective that keeps them front and center with all the people they care about and care for.
Women are my most favorite people on the planet. They literally keep the world going and if they can move into more influential roles with more power attached, I am quite confident that our world would be a much better place to live in. No doubt about it. I honor all of you and I see you, I respect all you do, and I love who you are.
Gail
