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To be curious is to not know which is the highest emotional intelligence we can possess. By not knowing we are open to exploring new ideas, concepts, history, the future, science, health, and all of the variety of people, cultures, lifestyles, religions and spiritual paths in our world,  just to name a few.

Curiosity is the main attribute of open-minded people.

People who are close-minded know as opposed to not knowing, they have all the answers and are not particularly curious in learning anything more outside of what they already know. They have it all locked up and decided.

Are you a curious person? Are you passionate about learning, exploring, and being open to new ideas? Do you love asking questions to the people you meet or have known forever, that will enhance your learning about them and their world?

Are you a lifelong learner? Are you willing to go out of your comfort zone to try out new experiences, and learn new information about topics you may not have even considered before?

The opposite of being curious is boredom and stagnation. And with google at your fingertips, access to media, books, the classes and events that your community offers and the people in your life, you really have no excuse to be bored.

Be active in your curiosity., explore, you will live a more fulfilling, passionate and stimulated life!

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As a mental health professional, I am very aware of the toll this past year has taken on people’s psyches and well being. I am aware of the toll it has taken on my own well being, though, I count myself as one of the lucky ones health wise, financially, and thankfully,  I have not personally suffered the loss of a family or friend from COVID. I decided to open my practice back up to support people as the small part I can play in navigating the COVID emotional tsunami.

It did not take long until clients poured in. I provide services for Employee Assistance Programs and the employee referrals have been endless. The clients I see are doctors, nurses, public health officials, college age students struggling with their isolation, couples struggling with too much stress and time together, parents, teachers, and even a nun who provides ongoing hope, prayer and care to the patients she comforts. It truly is a wake up call for me, when a young doctor can only cry through the session, from long hours, no personal relief time and being in the center of patient care with COVID.  My one hour of support a week isn’t very much considering the entire life of these clients, but it is something I can do to support them and I am grateful I can contribute at least some support and relief.

2020 was the year that globally we all were negatively impacted. Some much much worse than others. But, it was also the year of bringing out our humanity and compassion, of standing up for lives that are marginalized and disadvantaged by our systems, for voting out politicians who divide and bully and only self serve. Love and compassion,  behind the scenes of all the nasty politics that dominated the media, love and compassion were at work, every minute of every day. As I look back on 2020 I am grateful for the steady stream of care from our health care providers who worked to save lives, give extraordinary patient care hour after hour and the compassion they showed as they comforted the dying when family members could not be there at their loved one’s last moments.  Looking back on 2020, it was a wild ride. I am deeply grateful that love and compassion are still the centerpiece of our humanity. Thank you to all of you who helped get us through this past year.

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You know that you have had experiences you can not explain. You have had coincidences that are, well, beyond coincidence, you have heard messages through songs, or thoughts or dreams or from a sentence you read or a conversation you have had, messages where you find an answer you had been searching for. You have experienced having ESP or a hunch or intuition and you were right. You have had many experiences in your life where you simply could not explain it, it came from somewhere else. All of those experiences are from the Mystery.

My two friends and I were sitting out on my patio in AZ on a beautiful warm fall evening. Our conversations turned to our moms as both of my friends had recently experienced grief from their mom’s passing. As they both were talking about their mom, a praying mantis flew in and sat on a pillow right next to us.  It was the most surprising thing! We had never been so close to one, nor had I ever seen one in AZ. If you have the good fortune of being next to a praying mantis-they are eerily personable,  in that, they have big eyes and they turn their heads to look at you. This one did just that. It sat between us and moved its head as to say go on I am listening. Within a few more minutes another one flew in. With the coincidence of two praying mantises joining us at this time in our conversation, we knew that the mothers had just come to join us. They flew in to message their daughters that we are ok, we are free of our human bodies, but we live out there in the Mystery. We have flown in to join you in your conversation and as a reminder that we are still within reach.

Many people I have known who have lost loved ones tell me that they are visited by them again in the form of birds, hummingbirds, or feathers are found near them when thinking of them.  We knew that the two mothers visited us embodied in the visiting praying mantises Their timing was perfect, as they joined us and became part of our conversation. One of my friends told me she has never had such a better relationship with her mom until after she passed, as that they talk every day.  Another friend is visited by his late wife for coffee each morning. The Mystery is as real as our daily five-senses reality. However, one has to be open to the Mystery to see and experience it.

For those of you who prefer a more grounded Mystery-watch the beautiful documentary My Octopus Teacher, you will see before your eyes the many unexplainable Mysteries of ocean life and one particularly fascinating relationship between a human and an octopus. The Mystery is beautiful.

As you are waking wise today, be open to the unexplainable, that which defies logic, the intelligence in our universe, the extrasensory experiences, and embrace the Mystery with whatever name you wish to call it. It is everywhere if you are open to life beyond logic.

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I am personally giving a lot of thought to living a retired lifestyle in the sunshine of AZ, moving from my home state, (which sadly will be away from my family and friends) to start a new chapter in my life with my husband without work tying us to a schedule.   Knowing my own self, I will not stop working, as my work brings me joy and fills a part of me that no one or anything else can fill. Though I do foresee much more playtime than work time.

Every one of us is in some sort of transition and/or is feeling stagnant or stuck. I think especially with COVID, feeling stagnant and stuck can often run the show, especially for the extroverts and for those of us who crave contact with our friends and family.  It will be a long winter, especially for those of us in colder climates who don’t have more of the freedom to meet friends and family outdoors.

How are you planning to cope with the oncoming winter with the virus still running so much of our social and business lives?  What strategies will you put in place to create, to inspire and to guide you? Depression and anxiety are running rampant in the world, as we are all getting more fatigued with the lifestyle change from the pandemic. How will you support yourself and others?

Waking Wise is living consciously and deliberately, with intentions and goals which can help define your journey and result in more joy and satisfaction. Use your creative self during this time. Want to learn a new language? Want to take some classes? Join groups on zoom? Start a group? This is a great time to grow by adding some new interests. I have personally taken on cooking, as I am not much of a cook, so I have been having some fun learning new recipes and trying them out on my family (I know, poor them)!

I am also offering a master class for women who want to stay in touch with their own feelings and thoughts and who want to grow during this winter season. Who want to PLAN to grow, to make it a part of their intention for the months ahead. If interested here is the link to check this out, love to have you!: https://mailchi.mp/gailmanahan/high-functioning-woman

Life is always changing, nothing is permanent. Within your own evolution, learning to listen to the deepest parts of yourself and re-choosing who you currently are, what you are interested in now and what new possibilities would you want to explore?  All of this means taking a risk and stretching outside of what is comfortable. However, that is where learning and growth reside. How will you create joy, passion and excitement during these fall and winter seasons?

Love to hear from you!

Kindly,

Gail

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The Shoulds are always at the top of the list. As natural caretakers, nurturers, planners, home supervisors and connectors, women can feel burdened making sure just about everyone they care about receives their support and love. And giving all that love and care can be exhausting and can feel like a burden as their role is to give and give and give, sometimes thanklessly and often on demand.

Just in the last month this is what women have been up to that I personally know:

• Nursing a husband 24/7 from a surgery.
• Making weekly trips to care for an elderly father who lives alone.
• Planning grocery lists and packing for the entire family in order to go camping, vacationing, or a weekend getaway.
• Preparing classrooms to go back to school and adjusting to virtual teaching as well as preparing their own children to be at home with them.
• Taking care of grandchildren so their parents can get a break.
• Leaving an unhealthy and destructive relationship which results in heartbreak since that was NOT the way it was supposed to go, but having the courage to move on and begin again,
• Women wrestling with the fear that they will not find the love of their life while their biological time clock is ticking away.
• A woman running off to spontaneously marry the love of her life.
• Moms having their adult children tell them you ruined my life while you were raising me or some form of this (this has happened to two good friends, whom I personally know were FABULOUS parents, so this has broken their hearts).
• Women catering more to their husband’s needs now that they have both retired.
• A mother stressed that their single parent daughter who takes care of her special needs child needs their support both emotionally and financially,
• A mom (ok, this is me) working on thousands of pictures taken over the last 45 years that needed to be organized and sorted and put on the cloud to share with her family (a legacy project and who else would do this)?
• Women running their own businesses that are often steps away from failing due to COVID,
• Women following through on often nasty treatments to live longer lives to fight their cancer so they can still be here to care for their kids.
• Women attending to sick spouses who had COVID.
• Women raising young kids 24/7 with little relief since COVID keeps most near home without the typical outlets.

Of course, there are endless situations women are coping with, loving and supporting their families, often being undervalued or even blatantly disrespected from the ones they love the most. However, the women I know look to see where they have created this, where they can place blame on themselves to see if they need to change. The women I know reach out to their girlfriends or professionals for support, and they keep hanging in there, they don’t leave, they don’t stop doing and caring and doing and caring, no matter the weight of their responsibilities, the demands put on them, their own sadness and disappointment when others have walked away or disappointed them. The women I know have endless courage, strength and perspective that keeps them front and center with all the people they care about and care for.

Women are my most favorite people on the planet. They literally keep the world going and if they can move into more influential roles with more power attached, I am quite confident that our world would be a much better place to live in. No doubt about it. I honor all of you and I see you, I respect all you do, and I love who you are.

Gail

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Why is it you are like this animal? What characteristics do you share? Do you spend your time like a tiger fiercely tackling the day? Are you more like a bunny, nibbling on your favorite morsels, resting and at times running off? Are you like a mouse or chipmunk darting here and there, with high energy and sometimes feeling like you are distracted by so many things?  What animal represents you?

Now here is the fun part: Choose the opposite animal. If you tackle the day like a tiger, what if you instead were more like a deer?  If you scurry around like a mouse, what if instead you were like a sloth? How would adopting more of these characteristics benefit you when creating balance in your life?

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When one person in the relationship shifts to another dream or plan, or the couple is under unusual stress and there are fights and struggles to gain ground or to stay closely connected on top of conflict and disappointment the relationship can unravel. As can the dream. the living happily ever after.

As a parent, you know that you love your kids more than your self. You would rather be the one in pain than watch them go through their pain, tears, fear of the future, fear that they will never find love again. If your child has gone through a divorce which also negatively impacts their children, your pain multiplies. As parents, we grieve all the pain our children go through, from a friend being mean to them in their elementary years to their pain as adults facing life’s uncertainties and subsequent hardships and pain.

There is no way out of this for parents. It is a life long journey of celebration for our children’s successes, new beginnings, accomplishments, and who they are as people. And, the flip side is the hurt and pain when our children are hurting and navigating the rough spots, the losses, and the heartbreaks.

If you are a parent you know this journey very well. You feel it in every inch of your mind, body and soul. I know that I am feeling this as I write to you. My daughter is hurting deeply and I hurt deeply for her. My pain is not as intense as hers. my pain is not first hand, suffering myself from the breakup. It is her pain, her facing the downs in life that is currently her reality. However, it is a shared pain, it is like when a glass spills and the liquid touches many surfaces as it spreads.  .And because of our deep love for our kids, we will be part of the cleanup.  We will do everything in our power to be sure their cup is filled again as our children set out again to fulfill their dreams of happily ever after.

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Because it feels vulnerable to feel good, and we start to fear that is won’t last. Because positive feelings such as joy, happiness, bliss abundance and more, are very very powerful. And that kind of energy current can shake up our emotional structures–joy can blow your mind. Positive emotions can also be threatening to the people around us who’d prefer miserable company.

JOY DOES NOT FIT INTO THE STATUS QUO.  (Quoted from The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul by Danielle Laporte)

I am enjoying learning from just about every word on the page in this book “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. I highly recommend this read for inspiration in your personal and work life!

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Being good at anything in life has to do with our skillsets, what we have learned, what we know, and what we successfully apply. If there is one consistent complaint I hear when working with my clients (and what personally negatively affects my relationship) is a lack of good communication in their relationships.  When my husband and I have a disconnect in our communication we can bicker and argue and both of us can be left frustrated and misunderstood.

When we use the skills we have learned from self-growth classes, retreats, workshops, and seminars we have participated in, we then connect better, communicate better, and feel better about ourselves and our relationship.

You were not born with skillsets for swimming, driving a car, baking a cake or communicating effectively. You have learned to swim and not drown by taking classes or having someone teach you to stay afloat. You took classes or had someone teach you to drive a car so you safely stayed on the road. You didn’t just walk into your kitchen and pull out a bunch of random ingredients to bake a cake, you followed a recipe that someone else put together so the chemistry would create a delicious cake. And, those of you who are functioning at a high level in your marriages, family, friends, and co-workers’ relationships have learned effective skills that someone taught you whether through classes, seminars, workshops, books, magazines or via good role modeling.

My entire life’s work is teaching people how to live a better life. My expertise, my playbook, my skill set IS teaching people emotional, social and personal effectiveness intelligence.  I invite you to join me this July to learn more skills resulting in more love, happiness, joy and success in YOUR life. Check out my upcoming online mini-course starting in just a few days! https://tinyurl.com/yarwcxhu

I guarantee that what you learn will be invaluable and improve every relationship in your life!

See you on the Zoom July 7th! enroll here https://tinyurl.com/yarwcxhu

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